If we’re going to examples, remember the GTA? the better they made the graphics the boring it becomes… took them 4 versions (or should I say 4 tries) to get it work somehow, and still most people didn’t really like it.

Remember the good old Heroes of might and magic? as soon as they turned 3d the game lost all the creditability, people started looking for the old versions again, or worse- they stopped playing.

Now (or to be precise – 04/12/09) another example was published to the crowds, I’ve pre-ordered it, cause it didn’t look so bad and I’ve got relatives working in few gaming companies, got a nice deal for it, and after two days of playing it I must say I’m very disappointed.

The game works almost like Heroes of might and magic, apparently they thought that they could do it better in 3D; the graphics are average at most, and much like Worms Mayhem, the 3d is actually getting in the way, making the player frustrated at the overly slow pace of the game and unable to master the keys.

The main problem in such “designs” in my opinion is that they place the camera too close to the commanded units, so you’d see their superior textures, forgetting that just like in real life APPEARANCE isn’t everything – if a game looks good, but you cant play it, whats the point? if you’d have a big map, or real combat, that require your attention throughout the map, and half of it is covered by shadows, clouds and other things, that supposed to be the “BACKGROUND” of the game, you wont see the game, you wont play it, and definitely you wont enjoy it.

What’s sad is that this game actually had the potential, they have added over 100 different units, they gave it 9 armies, 5 heroes, and even epic game endings (took me several hours to reach each), plus it has also a game editor built in.

So yea, it could’ve been another great copy of the original heroes of might and magic and join that long list (like age of wonders and such) of possible covers to the game, with its own epic ideas, but unfortunately it seems, it is yet another example (in a very different and much longer list) of how to make a good game (or software – ex: vista) suck just by just turning it into 3d in the wrong way.

Who would really want to play strategy game at grass hight?

I think I’ll just ask for my money back, so I could put it on real game.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Hear me out before you start lecturing on the risks of smoking or why I should shut the fuck up – Why must it be such a bad thing that big companies pay game developers to advertise their products in games? I mean yeah, sure, it could cheapen the experience of seeing a big Coca Cola billboard when you’re blazing your way through Liberty City on the back of a chopper, with the wind in your hair and the cops on your ass. But what if it could be different?

What are really the negatives about this? Developers get a bigger budget for better tools, more staff or just more time to polish and improve on the game. However, the risks are that the game in question could become a joke, with advertisement on EVERYTHING, maybe even having the main character dress up to look like Ronald McFuckingDonald… Oh the awful thought!

But does this really need to happen? Can’t the publishers and developers agree with the sponsors that their advertisements will be seen, but that will be it? I would like to believe that most of the game designers and producers love their creations too much to have it be cheapened just for the sake of money. If that were to happen – we, the gamers, will surely tell them what the fuck is up. But seriously, though?

Picture playing GTA IV and watching a cutscene where Johnny Klebitz standing by his bike, waiting for his fellow brothers, as he pulls up a pack of Marlboro cigarettes. He jerks one out as he lights it up, leaning back on his ride as the nicotine enters his blood stream and calms him down.

I can’t be the only one who thinks that the idea would be pretty cool, as Rockstar tried (and succeeded) to create a world similar to ours, and having something as universal as Marlboro in the game could very well be useful as a link to the real world, making it easier for the Player to relate to the character, whether he smokes Marlboro or not.

It’s all about self-discipline, you see. Not giving into the money and lavish deals of the corporate world. And I’m talking about small things here, people. I don’t want to see big, blatant and arbitrary advertisement that throws me out my suspension of disbelief, but merely small details that enhance the game world and the immersive qualities of the game.

What do you think? Flame on!

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a game developer (even though I’d like to be) so I’m not really sure about the development cycle or the different pipelines of different companies but there are some games that just leave you scratching your head… Games like HAZE (even though it was severely overhyped), Damnation, Vampire Rain: AS, Leisure Suit Larry: Box Office Bust etc… Now let’s point some fingers!

Creative Director

Now not all games have a Creative Director, but this is the person who is in charge of the creative vision of the game, getting all of the different leads (art, tech etc.) unified to his picture of the game and keeping them all busy for the entire development cycle.

How he fucked up?

“Hey everybody! It’s Margarita Monday!”
“Phil, it’s Friday.”
“Better start preparing for Monday, then!”
*chugs from Tequila bottle*

Game Designer

The Game Designer is someone who is responsible for the gameplay being created and, hopefully, intertwined with the story elements and everything else – Just making the game smooth and FUN. In short – to keep the gameplay consistent and entertaining throughout the entire game.

How he fucked up?

Well, imitating other games is a sure way to make your game blend into the hundreds of other titles being released each year. Make it stand out, do something different, don’t use something from another game unless you make it equally as good or better. If you’re copying a game, make sure it’s a good fucking copy.

Executive Producer

An executive producer is someone who is getting paid a ridiculous amount of money for sitting in meetings and bossing people around, basically. He is responsible for making the game cost-efficient but still assuring that the game reaches a certain standard. The unique mix between communicating with the development team together with the pressure from above i.e. the publishers and marketing folk desperate to keep their initial deadlines makes for a very demanding position to fill.

How he fucked up?

Well, he could be a greedy bastard who only cares about the money. On the other hand, he could be overseeing a team of inbred turds who couldn’t model a brick wall if their lives depended on it.

Lead Tech

Ah yes, the Lead Technical… He is usually the guy wearing a funny haircut and glasses who jokes about D&D during lunch, successfully repelling any women within 10 yards. Joking aside, though – The amount of responsibility on this guy’s shoulders is immense. Picture it yourself, being in charge of multiple teams working with the tech behind a game. That requires you to know a lot about every single part of the game’s engine and being able to keep many things in the air at once…

How he fucked up?

By not putting the lotion on it’s skin!!!

Game Testers

I believe that these bastards could be a big part of why games fail to perform… You see, many of the great game development companies will tell you that the best approach to Game Design is called “Iterative Design”. That means that you test the game. A lot. You make up a game concept – test it. If it passes, you create a very simple version of the game – test it. If anything goes wrong, you go back and brainstorm – then test it. Seeing a pattern here?

How they fucked up?

Now you might see why Game Testers might have a part in not making the game as good as it could be. If a Game Tester doesn’t know what makes a game fun or is too chicken-shit to tell the team what they really think – the game will suffer.

Yeah, it’s a long shot but it’s not impossible.

CEO

I don’t really have to tell you what a CEO is and does. You all know it. Could it be that the CEO is a brainless moron who only cares about profit? Perhaps.

That’s how he fucked up.

Evil Publishers

Now we all know that publisher companies eats babies for breakfast and makes a living off of people’s tears, broken dreams and lunch money. So basically, if the publishers have a plan for a game – you better follow that plan. Or else.

Bloody fascists.

So there you go, that’s some of the people who we can blame for certain games sucking as much as they do.

However, the alternative theory is that it’s YOUR fault. And GameTrailers.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

As I see it, a perfect score means that the game is perfect. There is nothing remotely wrong about the game, it’s the best game ever made and it even dispenses strips of bacon if you stroke it! Thinking like this makes me sad. I mean, yes, reviews are based upon subjective opinions and that’s the way it should be – but come on… a perfect score? Couldn’t the game be improved even the slightest? Just a little bit? Wouldn’t giving a lower score to games make developers try harder?

What I’m trying to say is that no game ever should be given a perfect 100%/10/5/A+ unless it automatically orders AND pays for prostitutes that will come to your house and rub each other up with oil in front of you as you play your favourite game. No touching, though. We’re not going to have that much fun.

And giving a game a perfect score will not do anything else than feed the fanboys. It takes everything out of context when people try to compare them to other games.

“Will Modern Warfare 2 compare to Uncharted 2???”

What? Comparing a FPS to a third person adventure-platforming game? That’s stupid, but it raises an interesting question… Why do people not get the fact that a game’s score is decided on how it fares against games in its own genre, how it executes and whether it’s original or not. It’s like comparing the story of Halo 3 to MGS4. Yes, Halo 3 got a higher score when it comes to story but couldn’t that be because the story in MGS4 didn’t really measure up to the previous installments? It’s still good, damn it, but I believe that MGS3 was better. And so did GameTrailers, apparently.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Top 5 things troubling Nintendo

• Microsoft and Sony getting their own motion controllers

With 2010 just around the corner, so is the new inventions of competitors Sony and Microsoft. Seeing that motion controlling is Nintendo’s only real “hook” to their console. That and Mario. And when two consoles with real HD graphics comes along and offers the same (basically) ways of controlling the games through people’s motions – why stay with the Wii? Sure, Super Mario Galaxy 2 and the impending Zelda game, none of which are likely to boast any new gameplay features.

• Lack of software – losing hardcore gamers attention
  
  As I was saying – Nintendo haven’t really performed for a long time, have they? I mean what have they released in 2009 that is of any real significance?
  
  MadWorld – Commercial failure
  Punch-Out – Does anybody still remember this game?
  The Conduit – The Killzone 2 of the Wii… without the critical acclaim, sales and amazing graphics.
• Novelty wearing off
  
  Does anybody above the age of 12 still care about the Wii? I mean… really?
• Not enough kids in the world
  
  With the PS3 sales topping the Wii sales worldwide, it is evident that there just aren’t enough kids in the world. Joking aside (not joking, though) the sales of the Wii going down could very well be because some sort of saturation in the market – people are just tired of the Wii. They’ve tried it and it was fun for the while it lasted. How many games of tennis can you actually play before you just don’t want to anymore?
• Poor performances at recent Game expos
  
  Even though you might not have too much to show, you can still make a grand show about it! It’s all about lasers, you see. Lasers and semi naked chicks. Did you see this year’s E3? How about GDC? TGS? Yeah, I thought so – It’s like they’re not even trying.

Top 3 things troubling Sony

• Keeping up with current boost
  
  Sony have had an AMAZING year so far and it’s only going to get better, the only question is – how long can they keep this up? The steady stream of terrific games has truly spoiled us gamers, especially us who have stood by the PS3 since launch. I just hope that Sony keeps this wave going and it looks like they might pull it off, seeing as 2010 is looking VERY promising with titles like Gran Turismo 5, God of War 3, Heavy Rain and FFvXIII on the development line, with even more unannounced!
• Securing exclusives
  
  Grand Theft Auto, Final Fantasy, Devil May Cry and many others are extremely popular franchises that have served Sony very well in the past only to go multiplatform and leave Sony with an, often, inferior version. I understand that securing exclusives is EXPENSIVE and that Sony are very noble to not pay off developers to make games for their system but this is a WAR, gentlemen. Now pony up that cash if you want to emerge as the victor.
• Price? How about old franchises.
  
  Enough about the damn price, already. It’s $299 for a blu-ray player, gaming device, media streamer, barbeque grill (if pics are to be trusted) with lots of HDD space, free online, built-in Wi-Fi and loads of other nifty features. What do I think that Sony really needs to push the PS3?Old franchises. There are about 125 million PS2s sold in the world and they probably love the machine. Why wouldn’t they? It’s reliable, accessible and with a HUGE library of games. Many of these games are franchises that are owned by Sony, some of these that need to be continued and put on the PS3 post haste. Who wouldn’t want to play the next installment of Spyro, Crash Bandicoot, Sly Raccoon, Syphon Filter, etc… on the Playstation 3? I know I that I would.

(I know that Crash and Spyro do not belong to Sony anymore, but they really should buy them back and bring it back to their former glory)

Top 3 things troubling Microsoft

• Sony.
  
  That’s right, Mr. Gates. That limping little runt of a console that seemed doomed from the start just popped some pills and they’re coming for your ass. Better watch out! Sure, you might be a couple of millions of consoles ahead of them but seeing as they are outpacing you for every month that goes, Microsoft better have something big stored for the future. And please, no Halo.
• Natal
  
  This could go both ways, really. Either it could be a huge success and sweep everybody off their feet, bringing tears to eyes of infants and the elderly alike – or it could bomb and cost Microsoft lots of money. Myself, I believe that if they’re supporting it like they are the 360 (software-wise) it could end very poorly. People really need a reason to buy it and a couple of mini-games will not suffice.
• More exclusives
  
  What true console exclusives have been released for the 360 this year?Forza 3
  Halo Wars
  Star Ocean 4 (coming for the PS3, though)

  ‘nuff said, to be honest. Microsoft – you have to show us some more love.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

… but what now?

Harmonix left after they had made “Rock the 80’s” and the franchise was later taken over by Activision themselves and they passed it onto Neversoft, famous for making the Tony Hawk series. This however would appear to be, (if not the downfall) then the rather stagnation of the Guitar Hero franchise… After Harmonix left, they got right to developing a new concept, something that would revolutionize the gaming industry – expanding the band experience from a pair of guitarists to the entire band with the game “Rock Band”.

What happened after this isn’t really relevant to my article so I’ll abbreviate it somewhat. Bare with me…

2007 – Rock Band release – Awesome!!

2008 – Guitar Hero: World Tour release – Meh, been done before! Good songs, though.
2008 – Rock Band 2 release – Sort of the same thing, but it was nice.

2009 – Guitar Hero: Metallica release – Very much the same thing, but a must if you dig the Metal.

2009 – Rock Band: Beatles – Yay! Wait…

Now as we all know, if something gathers too much publicity – people desperate for attention need to say some stupid-ass things in order to get a few more fans on Facebook… This would very much be the case of Nickelback’s front man Chad Kroeger*, White Stripes guitarist Jack White, the legendary Jimmy Page* from Led Zeppelin and former Oasis frontman, Noel Gallagher*.

Why do these people even care?  Hell, if I would make millions and millions of dollars from record labels, royalties, merchandise and other various sources of income – I sure as hell wouldn’t get up on my high horse and start lecturing on what other people do on their spare time, especially if it’s as awesome as getting a few of your friends together, have a couple of brews and rocking out to some kickass music that we actually GET TO PLAY. Sort of.

OK, OK… fair enough. I suppose these people are talented enough to express themselves regarding music and all that is related to that – but it’s a GAME, damnit! I mean come on, who here really has the energy to as Chad Kroeger said

“Start rock bands. Set down the ‘Guitar Hero,’ learn how to play an actual guitar and start a band, because it’s hard to find more bands to put a solid rock-and-roll package together, to get out there.”

Do people who play FIFA need to put it down and become professional football players? Should Gran Turismo or Forza fans put down their controller and invest in expensive cars and start racing in Formula 1 or WTCC? Hell, “America’s Army” should start recruiting anybody who has reached level 2, shouldn’t they? I mean, it’s not like people play games in order to escape their own reality in order to experience something that they’d probably never get to do in reality, right…?

I’m pretty fucking sure that I’m not going to go out and start a band just because I love Rock Band.

I hate people.

http://nintendo.joystiq.com/2008/11/20/chad-kroeger-asks-you-to-stop-playing-guitar-hero/

http://www.nme.com/news/the-white-stripes/45521

http://www.clashmusic.com/news/noel-gallagher-guitar-hero

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Let’s take a look… First of all there is the legendary announcement that modders can fuck off. Okay, no mods or dedicated servers for the online experience – fine, it’s abit of a kick in the nuts but I’ll play ball. After all, Modern Warfare 2 will be an immersive, spectacular monster of a game… Then a petition was made from the PC community, pleading for some sanity from IW’s part. Over 100000 angry PC gamers signed the petition but alas, it changed nothing. That’s abit of a shame and I started realizing something, have Infinity Ward become cheeky? They fucking KNOW that Modern Warfare 2 will be the biggest thing since prostitution and I believe that this has gone to their heads. They’re not designing games for us anymore; they’re doing it for themselves!

Well you know what, Infinity Ward? It’s a damned shame that you have lost your ways. Sure, you’re not completely ignoring all gamers out there but you are ignoring your roots! Infinity Ward started on the PC and now they’re just going to cast it aside? Not letting thousands of creative people edit and mod your game so that more people might enjoy it?

One group of PC modders tried striking back at Infinity Ward, only to be met with an amazing show or arrogance. Robert Bowling, Infinity Ward’s Community Manager had this to say.

“Really? Copyright infringment claim? :sigh:

Really, Mr. Bowling? Why not do a fucking :facepalm:, while you’re at it? You make games for GAMERS – we are your CONSUMERS and you SERVE us. It doesn’t matter whether there was a copyright infringement or not, how about a piece of fucking humble pie, huh? There are such things as manners, you know – it isn’t necessary to act like a fucking douche just because you’re the top dog, for the time being.

I for one, will not be purchasing your game. The way Infinity Ward have been acting lately has put a really bad taste in my mouth and giving my money to you will not make it go away.

I hope you read this.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Drum Hero

You know, just the other day I wrote an article (soon to be published) where I made some arguments for why musicians should shut up about kids should stop playing Guitar Hero and start a real band, instead. But reading what I’ve just read – fuck that. I’m ready to switch sides. With every new game exploring a new instrument to greater depths, the line between video game and reality gets blurred into something really unnecessary. If you can do exactly everything that you can on a game peripheral that you can do in real life, why not just fucking invest in a real drum set?

Okay, let’s just back up and discuss this new title: “Drum Hero”… There’s not too much to discuss, we already know that Activision is milking the Guitar Hero franchise like crazy and with every installment, there is some progress in terms of gameplay and fun factor – fine. I mean I won’t fucking buy it – but if they are improving the game somewhat to introduce new players to the genre, so be it. However, when I see games like Band Hero, DJ Hero, the upcoming “The Who: Rock Band” (rumoured, but why not?), the impending Guitar Hero 6 and Rock Band 3 – I get genuinely worried.

Are people so controlled by money so they feel obligated to reiterate the same shit every single year? EA have done it for about ten years now, with the FIFA/Madden/NHL/NBA franchises – but that’s a fact that we’ve all accepted and the sales agree with me, they’re successful. However, when there’s about three or four new music rhythm games released every year, there is clearly an oversaturation of the market going on here and I don’t like it one bit. But what can I do about it?

Well let’s discuss that very point, shall we? Since gaming is a fairly young industry with good prospect and a bright future, why not try something new – like erecting some kind of Board of Gamers where developers have to stand up to their shit and hear us say: “Enough. Make some new shit and stop feeding us the same crap year after year after year after fucking YEAR.” Why can’t there be a place like this? Is it just a crazy pipe dream or do we, the Consumers, not have a right to complain when there is genuine talent in the studios making the same regurgitated filth being wasted when they’re not using their skills to create new, innovative games?

We spend so much money on games and peripherals each year, at least I do, so that I feel an obligation by the game developers to make sure that we’re not wasting our money. This industry isn’t going anywhere if this goes on. When are we going to put our foot down and demand some new blood?! And I’m not saying that we should petition everything that doesn’t fit us, but it’s detrimental to the industry when publishers insist on over saturating the market with the same shit.

GAMERS UNITE!

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Please remind that this is my own list, and you may not completely agree with it! So don’t be a bitch and whine about it. If you find anything wrong with it, or anything you like about it, please leave a comment.

Super Ghouls N’ Ghosts for the SNES.

Now this is a really long game, and hard, a bit hard as well. The game takes you through at least 8 different worlds which is long enough. But then…when you are to challange the last boss : ”Get this sheild!”. Ohh snap, now you have redo all the 8 levels to get to the final boss again! Piece of ****.

Digimon World for the Playstation

When I was a kid, I used to love Digimon, loved the anime, and hey,when having a Playstation, so why not buy Digimon World? Digimon World is a great game, with some awesome music, but it’s non-linear story makes it a very long game, and the probability that your Digimon dies and further boosts the time you need to spend on the game. Digimon World is still awesome,but requires dedication to complete

Roller Coaster Tycoon for the PC

I have always been a fan of Roller Coaster Tyccon. Roller Coaster Tycoon was the first real game which I had to have full control on what was happening, from maintenance of the roller coasters to the cleaning of the pathways which those goddamn bastards threw up on(Yuck). Roller Coaster Tycoon is still a great game which is very time consuming, heck, I didn’t make past the 7:th level of the first game nor the expansions.

Secret of Mana for the SNES.

Secret of Mana is one of my favorite games of all time, one of the best RPGs of it’s age, and it still holds its greatness today. But heck,it was a long journey from Photos to the Mana Beast battle. There isn’t a lot who tells you where to go, you have to find out by yourself. This is one of the things which made the game as great as it is. Also, check out the music too, simply amazing.

World of Warcraft on the PC

A MMO on my list of most time consuming games!? How is that possible!? World of Warcraft is a very timeconsuming game, depending on what you want to achieve with the game. Either it’s the PvE part of the game or the PvP part of the game. If you want to be above the average on each side, you need to spend time with it, which isn’t easy, as with all the games expansions and patches which updates it and throws you down to the bottom of the list, only for you to work it out.

Don’t get me wrong, World of Warcraft is a great game, but in my opinion it too freaking time-consuming to be played regularly. That’s why it’s the first on the list.

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.

Creating a “Next Gen” Interactive Communication System

It’s pretty funny that a game like Colossal Cave, having been released more than THIRTY years ago would feature something as peculiar as a fully functional text-based adventure game, only to let the concept fade away as good graphics slowly took the upper hand within development of games.

For those not familiar with Colossal Cave – it is a game where you navigate yourself by typing in what you want to do in order to navigate the colossal cave in which you find yourself in.

What if this technology were to find itself to today’s development? Wouldn’t it be fantastic to be able to actually communicate with the NPC’s of a game, and not just choosing answers already written by the games designer? Actually fulfilling this complete connection to a video game instead of a pretty superficial link via a handheld controller. The only problem is that this would be extremely difficult, as you have to not only analyse what the Player has written, but generating responses – stitching together animation and audio in real-time… *sigh*

Death to all Space Marines

Yeah, all of them can just go to hell.

Lay off the Nazis

Now before you go off thinking “Oh noes! He is a nasi simpathyzer!,” let me just say two things.

First of all – F*** you, they screwed up and they’ve been paying for it ever since, which some may see as appropriate whereas others might not. I’m not going start a political debate about the Nurnberg trials or anything like that, mostly because 90% of the people reading this won’t even know where Nurnberg is located on a map. It just seems to me that the German people have suffered enough through these 70 years since the fall of the Third Reich and we could cut them some fucking slack. And I know what you’re thinking – “they shouldn’t relate themselves to the Nazis unless they are also Nazis,” and I agree with you to some degree. But the fact remains that it’s an incredibly painful chapter in their, as well as our, history. I mean, how many games are made depicting the horrific acts of violence caused by the Russian or American troops during WWII? Not many, although it would make a pretty refreshing experience…

Second of all, I cannot be the only one who is sick and tired of killing the same old generic, kraut-eatin’, demon-worshipping (if id software weren’t lying!) Nazis over and over again? Something clever that Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw of the Escapist Magazine review series “Zero Punctuation” once said:

“The Call of Duty series has actually gone on longer than World War II.”

WE GET IT, THEY FUCKED UP.

HAIR

What is the excuse for all of these damned bald (or hat-wearing) protagonists nowadays, anyway? Off the top of my head (no pun intended) – Alex Mercer, Cole McGrath, Marcus Fenix, Nathan Hale, Althair, the new Max Payne, Mario (sort of)…

I’m not saying that everybody should have long, wavy hair that flow in the wind and can be transformed to venomous snakes that eat the faces of your enemies while it also wipes your ass and is able to beat a Chinese in a game of Chess.

Joking aside… Hair is a good thing. Everybody remembers how Cloud from FF7 looks like, right? I’m not saying that there aren’t other things that can be used to define a character, but hair is probably a really good alternative since it’s relatable. (Sorry to all of the bald people reading this)

The passing of Bobby Kotick

Yeah, I went there. You know what I’m talking about. I’m not the only one thinking it.

More exclusives

Before you all blow your lids, hear me out.

I won’t write three paragraphs about the subject, but it’s a pretty well-known fact that exclusive games are better than most multiplatform titles. Gears, Uncharted, MGS4, LBP, Forza, GT5… the list goes on. Why is this, you ask?

Well, as someone who doesn’t really work in the industry, yet possesses the brain power necessary to add 1 and 1 together, it seems to me that working with a single engine architecture would be much simpler than working with two. You don’t have to fit it to both consoles, which give you more time for optimizing the code, testing the game and just polishing it…

NOTE: This doesn’t mean that exclusives are automatically better than other games – look at Haze, Fable, LAIR etc…

EXTRA NOTE: I actually did kind of like LAIR. Seriously.

More mature themes

I don’t really want to see every single game featuring drawn-out stories about someone’s child dying in their arms or someone having to deal with breast cancer, but it sure would be swell to see something other than plots basing themselves on revenge or saving the world. Or saving your wife… I mean damn it! Why can’t women just use pepper spray or something? Yeah, I know that it’s a 200 feet space monster, dear – but try to kick it in the nuts… if you can find them, that is.

More innovation in FPS games

Bullet time, regenerating health, strange alien races hell-bent on destroying the Earth and crates of ammo around every single corner… How about something new?

Variety in weapons is also one of those things that I’ve begun to really notice lately, and not in a very good way… Machine gun, rocket launcher, SMG, handgun and the magnum… Why can’t there be a gun that turns the ground into strawberry jam, devouring the enemies and turning them into pieces of toast? How about a rifle that shoots strings of jelly, binding people and objects together and crushing them as the string tightens?
At least I’m being creative!

Less Star Wars

How many games based upon George Lucas’ IP has been released over the last two years?

• Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Lightsaber Duels
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Jedi Alliance
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars – Republic Heroes
• Lego Star Wars II
• Star Wars: Battlefront: Renegade Squadron
• Star Wars: Battlefront: Elite Squadron
• Star Wars: The Old Republic (not yet released, though)

The scary thing is – I’m not even sure that I didn’t miss one or two…

Oh right, and this LEGO thing can fuck off, as well. I mean LEGO Rock Band? Are they high?

©2010 Noob Talk Gaming Community. All Rights Reserved.