A CAPTAIN grabs a RIFLE from a CLUTTERED TABLE and looks into the camera. CAPTAIN Lieutenant! The Rooflans from Sector Bingo have returned! And they look pissed off. The CAPTAIN hands the LIEUTENANT the RIFLE and takes a puff from his lit CIGARR. LIEUTENANT Looks like I’m coming out of retirement… CAPTAIN Damn straight, Badd. Turns out you’re on your own, too. XENON SQUAD are currently engaged in a game of PUTT-PUTT GOLF. LIEUTENANT BADD Yes, CAPTAIN STEEL, sir! This’ll just take a minute… LIEUTENANT BADD reloads the gun, looks into the CAMERA and squints. LIEUTENANT BADD (VO) Who you gonna call? ROCK MUSIC starts playing as TITLE fades in
BADD TO THE BONE
‘nuff said.
How about giving it all some thought first? I’m not saying that every single game has to be about hard-hitting subjects like global warming or the political state of many African countries – but wouldn’t it be nice to have a character in a game that you can actually relate to?
You know, someone who isn’t basically a running refridgerator, armed to the teeth and spouting cheesy, uber-macho one-liners as he mows down an entire horde of enemies by using a mortar launcher, crafted by himself using the spines of his enemies, half a car (which he ripped apart with his bare hands, mind you) and about twenty rubber bands covered in blood and testosterone?
It just feels like that game designers could at least make an effort on making a character that could make the player feel something other than anger, fury and hatred. (and with happiness when you apply the aforementioned emotions with the ability to wield two chainsaws at the same time as you basically shoot bullets out of your ass)
I’m not saying that video games shouldn’t be fun, but if we now want people to acknowledge it as an art form, how about we at least try?
You know what, maybe it’s not an art form? Maybe it’s something greater… more on that later, though.
Feel free to post some funny/stupid/annoying video game stereotypes!









October 25, 2009
#1
haha. That intro made me lol. I completely agree Oz! Great article bro.
October 25, 2009
#2
we should all blame Hollywood for this